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How to talk to an attractive guy

Articles that promise the fastest, easiest, lowest-barrier-to-entry bullshit tips on how men can improve themselves. Since when are we all after the quick and easy silver bullet?

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I was on a cruise ship, walking around by myself late at night. I saw a group of people, and unbeknownst to me was faced with one of the most important decisions of my life: was I going to go back to my room and go to sleep like a grandma or was I going to be brave and approach this person? It can be perceived as aggressive, weird, desperate, or even slutty.

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But at the tippy top of the food chain are the HOT guys. But are hot guys overrated?

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The more you envelop yourself in an aura of mystery, the more likely it is the hot guy will come chasing after you. Ask about it.

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Hot guy, could you tell me whether it was super creepy that time I winked at you when you handed me my tea? Hot guys roam the earth freely, entirely unsupervised, have perfect bodies, chiseled jawlines, modeling contracts, accents, nice cocks, and are generally better at life.

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But get in line, betch! More From Thought Catalog.

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Show him yours. You merely go to class because the hot guy is in it.

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How does your face do that? But your rational, sexual harassment lawsuit avoiding self reminds you to tone it down you horny betch. You're in!

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There are cute guys, average-looking guys, and attractive guys. Follow Thought Catalog.

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Find something else to talk to them about beyond the wonders of their absolute genetic perfection. Hot guys have lived their whole lives being chased after by girls, boys, coaches and secondary school teachers, so they know the sight of them makes regular people precum — just a little. You may unsubscribe at any time. When you see him, your emotions tell you to jump on the hot guy like a jungle gym. Are hot guys more likely to be douchebags?

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If they have a tattoo, compliment it. Hot guys are a special breed, and you should be careful when interacting with them because they are not to be broached like normal everyday people.

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Buy it today. When talking to hot guys, find something you two have in common. Are they more likely to cheat, more likely to have slept with a million people, more likely to be selfish in bed? I feel like part of the anxiety around talking to hot guys is that nobody really knows how to flirt.

Or what about that time I showed up at your house in a bikini with the ass cut out — too much? Are hot guys more likely to break your heart, lie to you, or lead you on? You hope the hot guy is the one who takes your drink order.

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See you Friday.